Melt my face laughting, please

Este é o título do primeiro(?) show de stand-up comedy do World of Warcraft. A performance foi realizada no sábado mesmo no meio de Ironforge (entre AH e o banc) pelo priest Prorky (eu). Fica aqui uma transcrição integral do guião criado por mim e pelo Sr.RJT (és um grande), na parte das melhores piadas.


My staff sucks so much i started using it as a vacuum cleaner...

Speaking of sucking, I like gnome females. i think they have a very "convenient" height.
I find it not that convenient when it comes to them wielding weapons, though....
((makes me thank WOW developers for not making your nuts a sensitive spot))

Speaking in females, i had an undead girlfriend once... its the worst! They are cold in bed and their breath! Oh! Seems like they are rotting inside!
Probably because they are...

Yeah, I admit it. I had an ogre girlfriend. What can I say? I like big butts.

Gnomes! Don't they look cute?
Just like dolphins... I hate them!
Nah! i was just kidding... I like gnomes! They just look like a person that is still far away!

what about this thing dwarves say: "keep your feet on the ground!"
i mean! where else?
i will never understand dwaven humor.
that's why you dont see dwarves making stand-up comedy.
we never know when their are making comedy...
or standing up....

I had an Undead friend that bought a dog to make him company.
One night he caught it chewing his elbow.
"Not all was lost"- he said- "the dog tasted good".

Do you know how many hunters you need to light a torch?
Five thousand and one. Five thousand to whine about "NERF TORCHES", and one to train his pet to do that.

I know a hunter that thought he was a great player. Turns out he just thought win spelled w-h-i-n-e.

This is not just about hunters. The other day o found a priest that wanted to join our guild. I had to say: "This guild is Iron and Wine, not iron and WHINE!"

The other day I dueled a Night Elf. the guy was purple when i finish melting his face....
well... he was purple before.

Don't you hate it when elves rap?
I mean, sure you come in differente colors, but you're not M&Ms (Eminems)!

What's up with half-elves? I'm a pessimist, I like to call them half-humans!

In a tavern, the ogre Boogie-man was saying:
-"Phew... those ogres are so ugly, they don't get scared anymore! I must have the hardest job in the world. "
"- Just shut up..."- said the woman next to him- "I am the troll tooth faery."



Resta dizer que ganhei muito guito e até um [pristine black diamond]! Para quem quiser, o espectáculo será repetido esta noite na Darkmoon Fair em Elwynn.